Best Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life By Susan Forward,Craig Buck

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Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life-Susan Forward,Craig Buck

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BONUS: This edition contains an excerpt from Dr. Susan Forward's Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them.When you were a child...Did your parents tell you were bad or worthless?Did your parents use physical pain to discipline you?Did you have to take care of your parents because of their problems?Were you frightened of your parents?Did your parents do anything to you that had to be kept secret?Now that you are an adult...Do your parents still treat you as if you were a child?Do you have intense emotional or physical reactions after spending time with your parents?Do your parents control you with threats or guilt?Do they manipulate you with money?Do you feel that no matter what you do, it's never good enough for your parents?In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward drawn on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents -- and discover an exciting new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence.

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Every abusive parent I know of is narcissistic. This book completely failed to take NPD into account and will leave many victims thinking that their abusive parent "didn't realize how hurtful their words were" and other nonsense. Narcissists KNOW the "damage they are causing" and that is precisely why they say and do horrible things. It is how they get their narcissistic supply. They intentionally cause pain, fear, hurt and confusion in order to feed off of us. They wear masks to make them look nice while they plot to manipulate, control and even make you think you are crazy (the term is "gaslighting"). Convincing children of narcissists that their parent(s) didn't mean to hurt them and that they can just confront them and everything will be okay with a few simple boundaries is asinine. Only more harm will come from this naive perspective. Learn about narcissistic abuse, cluster B personality disorders and CPTSD for some real help.
I haven’t been in contact with my family for a year. Most of my adult life I spent trying to be the good helpful oldest sibling. And my father would repeatedly ,after drinking, point his finger at me and tell me how he beat my legs with a stick when I wandered off as a toddler. Not quite one year old. My life was filled with him saying that and other demeaning remarks. He has his favorites amongst my siblings, not me. Eventually it took an event to make me finally leave.I kept trying to forgive him, and the siblings. This book made me understand I needed to be angry, so I let myself be angry and hold he and my siblings accountable for the multitude of times I helped them out, and was left to struggle when I really needed love and support.I am not planning to go back. I have a loving family of my own, so I cut the strings. Love is a two way street, not a race track where you get trampled by your horribly enmeshed siblings all anxious to please a narcisstic father. I recused myself from the family trust, just for my peace of mind. I at least don’t need to worry. How the future with each individual sibling goes, ?

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